Sharing- Rosary to God the Father- St. Antoninus Church, Newark - October 14, 2007

Opening prayer from Ephesians 3:14-19

Early in my new life in the Holy Spirit, I experienced a profound experience of God the Father and a healing of my past hurts with my earthly father. It began, of all places, in my car, as I was driving to a business meeting. I had just completed a quick and somewhat automatic recitation of the holy rosary, when I felt the urge to start another - this time, more reflectively, more heartfelt.

As I began with the sign of the cross, “in the Name of the Father”, I felt a gentle tug at my heart, as if to awaken it from sleep. I dismissed it and continued praying. When I spoke the words, “I believe in God the Father Almighty” I suddenly began to sob. I was shocked and confused. Why am I crying, I mentally asked my self? I sensed a surge of painful sadness from deep within, as if released from many years of repression. Tears and groans involuntarily escaped from me. I felt myself shaking. I tried to regain my composure, but I could not. I can’t recall exactly how long I was in this state, but somehow I realized that I had to stop the car. When I found the nearest exit, I pulled over into a parking lot. There, I wept until a profound sense of peace took over. I finished the rosary, and afterwards tried to fathom what just happened to me.

The Holy Spirit brought me back to the experiences of my youth which in the past I had found to be too painful to recall. I am the eldest of 5 children. My mother was and is the model of love and devotion to her husband and children. My father, now deceased, was a man of the world, and therefore mostly absent from us. He had many mistresses, and fathered many other children.

Until my teenage years, I can’t recall my father staying with us for a whole day. His visits were usually short, and only during special days like Christmas, New Year or birthdays. When he did come home, I tried my best to get his attention, by running to him as soon as I saw him, by serving him and by staying around him. I sought his approval and love, but he was not good at revealing his feelings toward us. I grew up thinking that my father did not love me or my siblings.

Over time, my love for him turned to hatred. I witnessed my mother’s pain and sorrow over my father’s unfaithfulness and absence. I silently wept as I heard her cry in anguish in her room every time she heard news that my father was in town but did not see us. I felt humiliation and shame whenever my school prevented me from taking the exams as my father’s tuition payment check had bounced. I felt so small every time my father’s troubles were in the news. I imagined condescension, pity or disdain on the faces of my teachers and classmates every day that my father was in the news. It came to a point that I began denying my father when people asked me about him. I lied and told people I did not know him. I began hating his name, which is also my name. I wished I had a different name. I wished I was some other man’s son.

As I sat there, it dawned on me that the Father of light had just shown me are area deep pain and longing that He wanted to heal, by the power of His Name. The Spirit of His Son Himself was interceding for me with inexpressible groanings, with loud cries and tears to the Father who is able to save me from death and to restore me to His new life. In the Name of the Father, the Spirit led me to repentance for my judgments against my father. In the name of the Father, I forgave my father, and received his forgiveness. In the Name of the Father- my broken heart was healed and my wounds were bound. In the Name of the Father, all the pain and shame in my heart associated with my experience of my earthly father vanished, replaced with love, honor and respect.

All my growing up years, I sought the love and attention of my earthly father, but did not find it. All my life, my Heavenly Father sought my love and attention, but I had failed to requite it. But like the father in the parable of the prodigal son, my Heavenly Father patiently awaited my return. And when I made my trek back to Him, He ran to meet me, to welcome me with His loving embrace, and to restore me to the place of honor that He has prepared for me since the beginning of time.

I am now at peace with my earthly father, at peace with the years I grew up without his presence. I have now come to rejoice my memories of him, for I have accepted him as he was, with all his strengths and weaknesses. My Heavenly Father used him and my mother to give me life. My Heavenly Father filled whatever was lacking in them to nurture me with His love. This experience has strengthened my faith in our God, and I can truly proclaim, with all confidence and trust, that I believe in God the Father Almighty, the source, the fullness and embodiment of all the love and kindness that we can receive from a father and a mother.

Father, I thank you for your Son Jesus Christ, through whom we can now call you our Father, and because we are your family, we stand confident that we have brothers and sisters in Jesus and we will never stand alone and lonely before you.

Rom 8:14-17 “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, "Abba, * Father!" The Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.

Christian Speech

A sister from the community called this afternoon to ask about the following Scripture: "From the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks." Mt 12:34

This verse reminded me that most of the conflicts and hurts that occur among brethren in the community has to do with what we say. And what we say has something to do with what is in our hearts.

In truth, we are all of unclean lips, doomed before the Lord without the purifying ember of the Holy Spirit (Is 6:5-7). If we are to overcome this weakness, we must, like the prophet Isaiah, submit our hearts and tongues to the control of the Holy Spirit. In community, there are many situations that require us to guard our speech in order to avoid wrongdoing. Our speech must glorify God and build up His church.

In our intercessory prayers, circle sharing, shepherding and witnessing, there is sharing of confidential information which would be injurious or embarrassing to the sharer if the listeners were to repeat the information to third parties. Outside of the sharer's circle of trust, such revelation of confidential information becomes gossip. Such sharing is given in trust; the recipients of the sharing must be trustworthy. When we fail to live up to that trust, we must examine our hearts.

Community is about relationships. Talk can build or hurt relationships. In community, we will always experience joy and pain in our relationships. Regardless of the situation, there will always be an opportunity to bring something good or better out of it. It all depends on how we handle the situation.

Good situations can be better with a simple thank you, a blessing, a smile, a tap in the back, or a commendation. Difficult situations can turn to good with an encouraging word, a direct, gentle and loving correction, or an empathetic response. Where there are hurts involved, reconciliation and healing should result when we practice fraternal correction. In forgiveness, there is healing.

We are a community of sinners. It is only by the grace of God that we have been redeemed through the cross of Jesus Christ. Our righteousness is only in Christ. Since God will not condemn us, we too should not condemn nor judge nor speak ill of our brethren. Rather, we are commanded to love our brethren as Jesus loved us. This means we must accept them regardless of who they are, where they came from and what they say and do. Christian speech requires that we encourage each other and pray for one another as we live up to our promise of grace.

Roger & Irma are back!

It has been about seven years since Roger & Irma Santiago left Newark for Manila. During their long absence, much happened in the community they helped start. Now they are back, and at a momentous time in our community's short history at that! (Our 15th anniversary as a community.) We met with Roger last week, and during our brief get together, I could not help but recall the early years of BLD Newark.

We do not want to sound nostalgic, but those were good and exciting years. Our community then was much smaller. There were not many members to spread around the few ministries that had been formed at that time. Every member was involved in just about everything going on in community, yet it seemed that our energies were inexhaustible. We could not wait for Fridays to come so we can gather for worship and fellowship. We devoured every page of the bible in search of Christ and His Wisdom. We were not content with our weekly Word Sharing, and scheduled a second session with brethren living in our general vicinity.

We eagerly looked forward to the visits of our elders and teachers from Manila. We gladly gave up our weekends and weeknights to attend the teachings. We were so Word-hungry that we could not have enough of our elders and teachers. We quite literally sat at their feet to learn from their wisdom and experience for the benefit of the community. We even rejoiced when our consultations resulted in our rebuke or correction by our elders. That is how we found out that openness to correction has greater value than our insistent certainty of the correctness of our actions.

We had little money: our community treasury had just enough money in the bank to pay for the following week's venue rental. In fact, we owed Manila a hefty amount of money for past airfares of sharers, elders and teachers who made pastoral visits to our community. It was during this time when we could not financially afford it that the Lord called us to open up new communities in both coasts of the American continent. Our little started the many: there are now over 12 districts which Newark "fathered" in the US. My then overly secular mind did entertain the thought that our outreach building actions without financial viability were irresponsible and foolish. Of course I was wrong. God makes great things out of nothing. All we needed to do was to walk by faith.

I recall our almost weekly Board of Coordinators meetings with the Tricord and our once a month disciples assemblies. There seemed to be a two-way communication between leaders and members. Not that there were no contentious issues. In fact, one elder from Manila observed that our members seemed to be too vocal and critical. But this was the community culture the Lord wanted us to develop in Newark. I recall many meetings where leaders faced hard questioning by a packed audience. I believed then and still believe now that this was a sign of a healthy community. Having an engaged, empowered, participative membership is better than disinterested membership that do not attend assemblies. I recall those vibrant community days when members showed up to our meetings in large numbers, because they were and wanted to be involved in community discernment and action.

For sure, the community during those days was not perfect - a reflection of our own imperfection. Recognizing that, we knew that we utterly needed God. We desperately need God now as before. The signs are good that we can look forward to even better times. Roger and Irma, a special, beloved couple, are back. Thank You Lord for never abandoning us.

Thanksgiving Prayer for God's New Miracle

Based on selected verses from today's Mass first reading: Sirach 36, 1, 4-5, 10-17

We give thanks and praise to the God of the universe, who came to our aid and showed us the light of His mercies. The son of Sirach’s prayer in today’s Scripture was fulfilled in us today: indeed, the Lord gave new signs and worked new wonders.

The Lord worked through the medical team who flawlessly performed the cardiac catheterization procedure on me. God’s new wonder - they found that my coronary arteries are basically clear of clog, with one artery – the left anterior descending- having between 10%-20% blockage- which the doctor explained was part of the aging process and could be controlled with diet and exercise. For those who have aged with me in this community and thus know me really well – this is indeed a miracle!

The new signs are really reminders of God’s love and graciousness to His people, His faithfulness to those who hoped in Him: my wife and my entire family, all of you who prayed for me and Lee, those who called and/or wrote their words of encouragement and/or spent time with Lee waiting during my procedure, our BLD brethren who worked as doctors and nurses at St. Michael’s Hospital in Newark and who showered us with their love, time and attention, and the rest of St. Michael’s Hospital Staff who treated us with care, dignity and the highest professionalism.

To all of you, thank you! With you, we will make known to the very ends of the earth that the Lord Jesus is the eternal God, whose love endures forever.

All Glory & Honor to Jesus,

Richard & Lee

First LSS - Pentecost Morning Reflection

Preparations for the new community’s first Life in the Spirit Seminar started about 6 months after the ME 1 weekend. Only three couples had formation as LSS shepherds, hence the candidates were prepared primarily through group shepherding after the Friday corporate worship. Group shepherding seemed to me like Word Sharing Circles: we all reflected on how the assigned Scripture verses spoke to our hearts. Our LSS shepherd seemed to function as the circle shepherd. The only difference was that we were asked to reflect on an assigned Scripture verse relevant to an LSS topic every day for one week, to record these reflections on a notebook, and then read them during the group shepherding.

This daily immersion in the Word opened me to a more intense “shepherding” by the Holy Spirit, for I found myself being drawn to frequent prayer and praise during the day, oftentimes without consciously deciding to do so.

I recall 2 or 3 instances during the LSS shepherding season when I would fall asleep at night after praying the Scriptures, and then dreaming of having an ecstatic encounter with the Lord. I would wake up to the sound and feel of babbling coming from my mouth with shock and incredulity. The moment my conscious mind took over, the babble disappeared. I recall driving to work one morning while singing praise songs, when I involuntarily began babbling. It lasted only briefly, for I instinctively suppressed it with my mind and my mouth.

A couple of weeks before our LSS 1 weekend, I was sent by my employer to an annual industry convention in Las Vegas. After dinner during my first night in town, I declined my co-workers’ invitation to join them in gambling and watching shows. I knew what would happen if I went with them. Instead, I returned to my hotel room where I read the Bible and prayed. While I was praying, I felt a pleasant warmness surge through my body and I began babbling. It was like my previous babbling experiences, but this time, I did not stifle it. I allowed it to happen. It was during this night while I was praying alone in my hotel room in Las Vegas that the gift of tongues was released in me. It was on this night that I received my “baptism” in the Spirit.

As we were unable to secure a Catholic Church as venue for the LSS 1 weekend, we held it in the basement of a Methodist Church in Kenilworth. We were blessed with sharers, auxiliaries and praise ministry volunteers from our sister communities in Manila and Toronto. During the baptism of the Spirit that Saturday night, my gift of tongues freely expressed itself when the priest laid his hand on me. But also I felt a new, initially eerie sensation. It felt like a small marble rolling up and down underneath a vein on my left temple. It was followed by a similar sensation underneath a vein on my right temple. Then I experienced the sensation simultaneously on both temples. When the “baptism” ended, the sensation left. It would return every now and then during prayer for several years. I do not know what that sensation meant; I only know that its effects have been good.

A month or so later, the Tricord and some members of ME 1 gathered at the living room of our home for Easter vigil. We had closed all the windows shut, to avoid waking up the neighbors with our singing. At midnight, after proclaiming the Easter vigil Scripture readings and while singing worship songs, a strong wind buffeted the room’s east-facing and west-facing windows almost simultaneously. The wind came from the east and the west. Both windows shook vigorously.

When this happened, we looked at each other with surprise. That surprise quickly changed to understanding. Without exchanging words or missing a beat, we continued our worship songs, but this time, with greater exultation and gusto, for the Spirit of the Lord had honored us with His visit.

“When the time for Pentecost was fulfilled, they were all in one place together. And suddenly, there came from the sky a noise like a strong driving wind, and it filled the entire house in which they were.” Acts 2:1-2

Cardiac Cath - Pentecost Eve Reflection

After my stress echo test yesterday, my cardiologist explained to me that he needed to investigate further a seeming abnormality in the contraction of my heart. With my agreement, he promptly scheduled me for a cardiac catheterization on Wednesday morning. Although the doctor explained what the procedure entailed and why I need to go through it, I researched the subject further today via internet. I now understand it better. But as I think about this external probe that will be navigated through one of my arteries in order for the medical team to look at my heart in intimate proximity, I can’t help but feel uncomfortable and apprehensive. Perhaps it is the idea of my body being invaded and my heart being exposed to scrutiny that is causing this feeling. But should I feel this way, knowing that this medical intervention is necessary for my physical well-being?

I liken this “probe” to You, O Holy Spirit, whom the Father sent in Jesus’ Name (Jn 14:26) to convict us in regard to sin and to guide us to all truth (Jn 16:8, 13) “For the Spirit scrutinizes everything…” 1 Cor 2:10). The psalmist understood this when he declared: “Lord, You have probed me, You know me: You know when I sit and stand; You understand my thoughts from afar….” (Ps 139:1-2). The plaque which may have formed into an arterial block can be likened to sin and its structures that prevent Your grace, the lifeblood of eternal life, from flowing freely into my spiritual heart. Nothing is hidden from You, O Holy Spirit. You light of truth will reveal the hidden or secret structures of death in me. “Your light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” John 1:5.

If indeed a block is discovered in an artery, the medical team will inflate a balloon to compress the plaque against the artery wall, thus improving blood flow. Then they will insert a stent in that area to prop the artery open, preventing the tissues from returning to its original position.

Spirit of Truth, You reveal what I hide in darkness, and I am brought to recognition and repentance of my sins. Lord, it has been many years since You mercifully rescued me, yet my sins are still many and shameful! I beg Your forgiveness, my Jesus. I forgive others their offenses, and seek their forgiveness for my offenses and omissions as well. I recognize my own helplessness, and I throw myself in total surrender to Your mercy, Lord Jesus.

Your forgiveness is the "balloon" that destroys sin and inflates the life of Your Spirit in my heart. The medical team’s healing work- as good as it is for You guide them- can not compare with Yours, O Lord. Unlike their work, Your forgiveness leaves no trace of the plaque of sin in my heart. O Divine Healer, Your work is thorough and complete, for You “cleanse us from every wrongdoing” (1 Jn 1:9), so that “we may become white as snow… white as wool” (Is 1:18). Your spiritual gifts and disciplines are the “stent” that will prevent me from falling back to my old ways.

I will not fear or be anxious. I entrust my heart and my life to You, my God. May Your will be done in me this Pentecost eve, every day of my life, and for always.

“Probe me, God, know my heart; try me, know my concern. See if my way is crooked, then lead me in the ancient paths.” Ps 139:23-24

Learning to Walk by Faith

“For we walk by faith and not by sight” 2 Cor 5:7

Over the past four weeks, we gave witness to the Lord’s grace in our life in three Marriage Encounter weekends in BLD Rockland, BLD Trenton and BLD Charlotte. Last weekend, we participated in a reconciliation retreat in one of our communities. While we are physically tired, we have remained spiritually buoyant, for the Lord has ministered to us in our service as much as He ministered to those whom we served.

The marvel of seeing these three communities being strengthened or formed by the Lord through the selfless and generous support of fellow servants from sister communities reminded us of BLD Newark’s initial evangelization efforts when it did not have the people nor financial resources it now has to undertake the Spirit's work. Early on, we may have had an abundance of love and zeal, but we had little financial resources and little faith. Those were the times when the Lord first taught us to walk by faith and not by sight.

We recall that when the ME1 class firmed up its decision to sponsor ME2, we were not sure where we were going to get the $5,000 in airfare cost to bring the two presenting couples and priest from Manila to New Jersey. The class dedicated their love offerings during monthly ME reunions for the sponsorship. However, we could not use the love offerings from our weekly worship, as these were used to pay for venue and other community operating expenses. After 5 months of reunions, we intensified our prayers, for our class funds could only pay for the airfare of one couple and the priest. In no time, the Lord sent two sister districts to the rescue, each giving $1,000. All we needed to do was to ask in faith, and the Lord took care of the rest.

God’s steadfast love was again manifested when we sponsored LSS 2. We still had no local sharers at that time. (It was not until ME 5 that we had our first sharers.) This time, the LSS expenses could have been paid for with community funds, but the community treasury simply did not have enough to defray the cost of flying the LSS sharers and priest from Manila, plus the costs of the venue rental and the participants' meals. Who else can we turn to for our needs but the Lord? Again, He delivered through the generosity of sister districts who gave from their treasures and talents.

Here’s another example of God’s faithful love. A few months after the ME1 class was covenanted in 1994, the Lord through the Council of Servant Leaders (CSL) in Manila directed Newark to form a BLD community in Reno. Most of us were crying in anxiety during the discernment. On the basis of logic, our fears were not unfounded. We were “fast-tracked” in our formation; we were barely starting in our discipleship walk. No one among us, except for our Bi-Cords Donnie/Ningning and Roger/Irma, had any experience in forming and “administering” new communities. There was no BLD manual which we could refer to that explained how to administer or develop a new community. Moreover, Reno was 3,000 miles away from us! We did not know how we could commit time and resources to form and nurture this far-flung new community when our very own was just in its “toddler” years and thus in itself needed nurturing. How could we even think that we could pay for the cost of sending outreach shepherds and teachers to Reno every month?

How can we not have faith in God whose faithfulness extends to the heavens? When Scripture and the prophetic word confirmed the CSL direction, we gave the Lord our tearful yes, and that was enough for Him. He did all the rest. He poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit whom He has given us. In early 1995, a plane load of BLD Newark disciples descended into Reno to serve in their ME1 weekend. Our faithful God was with us when Reno was formed and developed. He has been with us in all the new communities that He directed us to form and develop later on: Seattle, Long Island, Albany, Bay Area/San Francisco, Los Angeles, Washington DC, Trenton, Rockland, Phoenix. And early this month, BLD Charlotte!

The stories of God’s faithfulness do not end here. There are many, many more stories of God’s faithful love that have to be told to generations after generations of BLD families and communities. This is just the beginning. We will not stop proclaiming His love that never ends! Neither should you.

"Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Mt 17:20

Kingdom Leadership

The other night, I asked my son Gerard to reflect on Mt 10:31 for the meaning of Servant Leadership. I would like to share with you his reflection.

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Mark 10:31 "But many who are first will be last, and the last, first."

These revolutionary words contain wisdom for all generations of leaders. Wisdom so radical, that the world does not see-and so many of us miss the mark.

Jesus establishes Kingdom Leadership, practices Kingdom Leadership, and asks His disciples to practice Kingdom Leadership.

Jesus underscores that Kingdom Leadership is not in status, but in servanthood. Leadership is not about hierarchy, but about love and service. In God's kingdom, greatness is not by being first, but in ministering, in serving, and empowering.

During the eve of Lord's Passion, Jesus practices Kingdom Leadership in washing his disciple's feet. The One, who is First, has shown in practice that He lovingly and humbly serves as the Last.

Jesus commands His disciples:

"If I, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet, so you must also wash one another's feet" (John 13:14).

Kingdom Leadership rejects all we know of earthly leadership. It runs contrary to the world, and it often chafes at our impulse to "wash feet." Being last is a position of ridicule; of contempt; and of shame. Being last is where the earthly leader will avoid. Yet in God's Kingdom, the last shall be first, where the least is the greatest in the Kingdom.

Kingdom Leadership goes beyond human charisma and skills because Jesus Himself makes Kingdom Leaders. Kingdom leadership relies on Jesus for strength, and in The Holy Spirit for guidance. Through Christ, and the Holy Spirit, the Kingdom Leader's gifts are anointed and amplified—allowing an open and loving acceptance of being last…becoming God's Servant Leader.

The Servant Leader's ministry requires leadership which is both humble and powerful, leading by serving. All of God's spiritual gifts to us need to function this way, especially leadership gifts. Servant Leaders lead by example, their leadership grows from humble service.

Leadership in Christ's body translates to service, ministry, and being least or last, not greatest or first. "The first shall be last…and the last first", Jesus said. Leadership is a spiritual function of serving, and is always reliant on spiritual giftedness, not just on human ability.

…Where would Jesus fit in our community today? What would Jesus say about our "leadership", "hierarchy", "titles", and our "ceremonies".

Surely Christ asks, "Who here serves?" rather than "Who here leads?"

Mark 10:42, (paraphrases) how the Gentiles lord it over their subjects, and their great ones make their authority over them felt***

Mark2 10:43 "But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant"

But it shall not be so among you: Jesus declares that efforts to gain glory, prestige and position has no place in God's Church. Rather, we serve as Christ serves, and thus share in His glory & greatness.

Nurturing the New Community

“In swaddling clothes and with constant care I was nurtured” Wis 7:4.

Fifteen years ago, our Newark community became the first BLD district in the US. The mother community in Manila was 8500 miles away. BLD Toronto - its older sister community- was 340 miles away. Being so far away from the rest of the BLD family, how was this new community cared for and nurtured?

“When Israel was a child I loved him… I fostered them like one who raises an infant to his cheeks” Hos 11:1, 4. The Lord loved His precious children and made sure that they were fed with pure spiritual milk, so that through it, they may grow into maturity and fruitfulness. He fed and tended them through the “angels” He sent their way.

Who would teach the community? We were first taught by the witnessing of the first servants who formed the community: the humility and leadership of Andy & Belle; the fellowship and praise of Jay & Salou; the passion for the Word and servanthood of Roger & Irma. When Andy & Belle left for Bahrain, the Lord sent us Donnie & Ningning from Hongkong- they with their gifts of worship and community-building.

In our first year, the Lord sent us Fr. Jun Inocencio, a Salesian priest who was then taking his post-doctoral studies in Harvard. Fr. Jun would take the train on Fridays to give us a weekend of teachings – from 10am to 10pm daily- at the home of one of our members. He would then return by train to Boston on Monday morning. Fr. Jun ministered to ME1 members throughout his one-year stay in the country.

Early in the life of the community, the Lord made a way for our head servant leader from Manila, Sonny & Bai, to be appointed to the Habitat International board of directors. This allowed Sonny to travel to the US for board meetings about 4 times per year. Before or after these meetings, Sonny would fly to Newark to teach and mentor the leaders and members of the community. This grace lasted for many years. The Lord used Sonny to teach our first generation of leaders about community building, discipleship and servanthood. He also mentored our first local teachers and ministry coordinators. In addition, we were visited frequently by Epie & Godie- gifted teachers from Manila- who gave us the Agony & Washing retreats, the Encounters with Jesus modules, and many other teachings.

Who would pastor the community? The Lord sent us many shepherds in the persons of priests like Fr. Ado- the founding spiritual director of BLD, Fr. Larry- who was one of the instruments used to help start the community, Fr. Sancho- who served in many of our initial encounters and LSS and was even assigned by his order to Pennsylvania for several years, Fr. Pete Sevilla –who inspired us with his holiness and simple heart; and Fr. Boie- whose humor and common touch appealed to the young and old alike. And who can forget Eliong & Leah, full time servants of the Lord, whose gifts of counseling & healing were used by the Lord to minister to several scores of our couples, including ourselves?

Within the archdiocese, the Lord made available to us His caring shepherds in the persons of Archbishop McCarrick, Msgr. Slinger and Fr. Kwiatkowski. They welcomed BLD to the Archdiocese and recommended us to other dioceses where the Lord wanted to start new communities. Msgr. Gunther- pastor of the St. Joseph’s Parish, West Orange- opened his doors to us in a minute when we needed a new worship venue.

In 1995, the Lord brought to our lives the then pastor of St. Antoninus Parish in Newark- Fr. Paul Lehman. Our relationship with him started with the use of his parish whenever we needed a venue for our worships and teachings. In 1996, the Lord entwined our lives with that of Fr. Paul when Archbishop McCarrick designated him as our spiritual director. Since then, Fr. Paul has become our spiritual father, our pastor, our counselor, our advocate and our defender. Now retired as pastor of St. Antoninus, Fr. Paul continues to serve our community with the vigor and enthusiasm of a young priest. Other BLD districts in North America have similarly been blessed by his service and counsel.

Through Fr. Paul, the Lord likewise blessed us with Msgr. Paul Schetelick- who gave the community a home at the Blessed Sacrament Parish after it left CYO in Kearney. Msgr. Paul schooled us in the apostolate to the poor when we started the Deanery 20 outreach to 13 inner city parishes of Newark. He continues to serve the community in retreats and counseling meetings despite his hectic parish duties. Fr. Bill Halbing, the new pastor of St. Antonius, has similarly shared his many charismatic gifts, particularly preaching and teaching, with the community.

It is not possible for us to cite in this article all of the other “angels” whom the Lord sent to care for our community throughout these past 15 years. We can and do proclaim however that through these men and women- named and unnamed- we have all heard and received Lord’s glad tidings, we have all felt and grown in His love and mercy.

May You bless these men and women with Your abundant life, O Lord Jesus!

May this community continue to be overwhelmed with Your grace, Father God!

We praise and thank You forever, O Holy Spirit!

“When you hearken to the voice of the LORD, your God, all these blessings will come upon you and overwhelm you…” Dt 28:2

Our First Corporate Worship

When the founding couples (or Tricord, as they were subsequently called) entrusted to the three coordinators the responsibility of bringing our ME1 classmates to our initial class reunions and worship, we had wondered why they thought this was feasible. We did not know any of our classmates prior to the ME weekend. I (Richard) hardly spoke with them during the weekend. I could not even associate names with faces. In fact, some of them avoided speaking to us or returning our phone calls.

But come they did. Why?

There was a time we associated BLD’s success to its leaders and its system. At that point, we had not yet encountered God’s word in 1 Cor 3:7, “Therefore, neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who causes the growth.” In the light of this Scripture verse, we began to see that it was God and not man who built and grew the community from the very outset.

One of the first teachings the coordinators received was to pray for our individual classmates during our weekly meetings and in our personal prayers. We lifted their names, their persons to God- an acknowledgment that unless the Lord built the house, we labor in vain who build (Ps 127:1). It was the Lord who drew our classmates to our reunions. In our class reunions, we recalled our individual and shared experiences of God during the ME weekend. It was their experience with God, having tasted that the Lord is good, that brought them to our worship. In the community’s worship, they received grace upon abundant grace from the Father who delighted that His children lovingly yearned for Him. It was God who joined them to this community.

As we look back to our past 15 years of life in this community, it seems to us that the two movements of community- to communion and to mission – begin and end with worship. Worship binds us together as one people with God; we are in communion with each other because of our worship. Worship is also the place of our empowerment: it prepares and sustains us to pursue and fulfill our community mission. As a worshiping community, the foundation of our communion and mission is the Lord Jesus Himself.

We vividly recall our very first corporate worship at the St. Therese school library in Kenilworth. We felt an indescribable excitement as we gathered together for worship. Like the Friday nights after the ME, we looked forward to our appointment with God, our time to be united to Him and refreshed by Him in worship. Unlike the other Friday nights, we expected the rest of our ME1 classmates to join us for the first time. As some of them began coming in, our excitement was replaced by joyful thanksgiving. While not all came, we knew that it is only a matter of time before the others did. We exuberantly greeted and embraced our brethren. We felt a kinship of hearts as we began to worship our Father. It was sheer grace that in that little library, God whom the whole universe could not contain became present to us individually and collectively. In that little room, we became a family- God's family, God's community.

For 15 years, our community has faithfully worshiped God on Friday nights, save for Good Fridays, Christmas and New Year's days that fall on or next to Friday, and in rare cases when severe weather makes driving to our worship venue dangerous for our members. We can be sure that through these years , the Lord kept the appointment as well. We know this to be true, for two reasons. First, the Lord has made our Friday worship a helpful servant to the Sunday Eucharist. The Sacrament has become alive to us whose hearts were tilled by the Word of God during our corporate worship. Second, the Lord has made the community fruitful in many ways, despite its imperfections.

A month ago, one of the new members of the community asked us how our community grew from the original three founding couples to its current several hundred families, not counting the near dozen communities it spawned on both coasts of this continent. Having been eyewitnesses to His works of wonder, how can we not know the answer? We simply replied: GOD!

Introduction to Word, Worship & Christian Fellowship

We were selected as one of three coordinators of an ME 1 class consisting of 19 couples and one nun. We had accepted the founding couples’ offer to help coordinate the sponsorship of the next ME class. We did not understand at that time that our commitment really meant agreement to become part of their small community and to help build the community with the ME 1 class as firstfruit.

The week following the marriage encounter weekend, we were invited to the home of one of the founding couples where we were introduced to worship, Word sharing and Christian fellowship. The prayers were an intimate and loving conversation with Jesus. The praise songs were a soulful serenade of God. The scripture readings were read as if savoring an exquisite dish: slowly, deliberately, repeatedly, with heightened senses to detect and to imprint in our minds it’s most delicate flavors and aroma. Our encounter with the Word provoked the sharing of deeply personal thoughts, feelings, sentiments and experiences, of anguished pleas for God’s help or of joyful thanksgiving for His loving intervention. The fellowship was genuinely friendly- we found ourselves amidst a family who loved and cared for each other. I saw God in this small circle

Although I have been a Catholic all my life and attended a Catholic school for the first 11 years of my education, this faith experience was refreshing and exhilarating for me. Outside of rote prayer and my frantic appeals for help when I was in need, I did not have a prayer life. My Catholicism consisted of grudging Mass attendance on Sundays to which I would be often late and positioned for quick exit. I never read the bible. Nor did I reflect on His presence and actions in my life. Consequently, I did not know God and did not develop a relationship with Him.

I also had very few close friends. I was introverted when I was growing up. I preferred to read my books rather than to play with my siblings, cousins and neighbors. I was never comfortable sharing myself, much less my vulnerabilities to anyone. I did not believe anyone can be trusted with any information I considered personal and sensitive. My father’s side of the family was quite dysfunctional and hence detached from one another. This dysfunction influenced my relationship with my mother’s side of the family, my siblings, and my own family. Community was an alien concept to me.

After Lee and I attended the marriage encounter, we were thrust into a brand new world – a small and intimate community that the Lord had planted and wanted to grow in New Jersey. We were not seeking one, but God gave us one. We who were weak in faith were warmly welcomed to this circle of vibrant faith. An undeserved gift! Our first taste of this community was good, and we embraced it wholeheartedly. After our first meeting, we bought a bible and began to devour it. We began praying every day. We bought praise tapes and listened to them all day long, at home or on the road. We enthusiastically attended our weekly gatherings, where the Lord continued to bond and form us together as a community.

“Welcome anyone who is weak in faith…” Rom 14:1

How it began - God made a way

My sister-in-law, who lived in HK at that time, asked one of the founding couples of the community to invite us to their first Marriage Encounter weekend in NJ. My wife Lee and I were not interested. We had a convenient excuse to decline the invitation- our youngest son who was 4 years old at that time. We did not think we should leave him alone with his siblings for a weekend.

But our "recruiters" were persistent. My sister-in-law kept on calling to encourage us to come. Her husband's brother-in-law who was visiting from Manila likewise made a pitch. Lee was unconvinced. I began opening myself to the idea.

On August 21, 1992, I drove back from my secondary office in West Long Branch to pick up Lee at home and head to the Marriage Encounter venue. I was late by at least an hour. Worse, we could not locate the invitation, and could remember only that the retreat house was in Maplewood. We went anyway, not knowing exactly where to go. Of course, we ended up driving around in circles. And arguing. We said we will give it one last try, and if unsuccessful, we will head for home.

Usually, I loathe to ask people for directions, but this time, I stopped at several gas stations to ask for direction to the retreat house. Eventually, someone gave us the correct direction, and we did find the place. We were the last couple to come in. By the time we were ushered to the conference room, the introductions were already going on.

The message of the Marriage Encounter weekend did not penetrate my hardened heart. I was silently criticising everything that was going on- from the lengthy sessions to the seeming over-sentimentality of the presentors to the endless letter writing and dialogues between couples. I saw however that Lee was getting into it, particularly in the part having to do with dialogues. I was always uncomfortable with self-disclosure.

I was quite relieved when Sunday came and with it, the end of the Marriage Encounter. Before we were allowed to go, the three couples who sponsored the Marriage Encounter (who thus founded the community) seneraded us with songs and dances. As I watched them, I noticed the joy and peace on their glowing faces. I initially dismissed it as the "face" they donned for their performance. But even after they ended their performance, I saw that their joy and equanimity remained with them.

I then realized that they had something that I did not have, that I've always longed to have. Whatever it is, I told myself that I want it.

"It" turned out to be their relationship with Jesus Christ. They had "it" in their little community. They had Christ in their community. They had what I had long yearned for in their community.

"See, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? In the desert I make a way..." Isa 43:19