How it began - God made a way

My sister-in-law, who lived in HK at that time, asked one of the founding couples of the community to invite us to their first Marriage Encounter weekend in NJ. My wife Lee and I were not interested. We had a convenient excuse to decline the invitation- our youngest son who was 4 years old at that time. We did not think we should leave him alone with his siblings for a weekend.

But our "recruiters" were persistent. My sister-in-law kept on calling to encourage us to come. Her husband's brother-in-law who was visiting from Manila likewise made a pitch. Lee was unconvinced. I began opening myself to the idea.

On August 21, 1992, I drove back from my secondary office in West Long Branch to pick up Lee at home and head to the Marriage Encounter venue. I was late by at least an hour. Worse, we could not locate the invitation, and could remember only that the retreat house was in Maplewood. We went anyway, not knowing exactly where to go. Of course, we ended up driving around in circles. And arguing. We said we will give it one last try, and if unsuccessful, we will head for home.

Usually, I loathe to ask people for directions, but this time, I stopped at several gas stations to ask for direction to the retreat house. Eventually, someone gave us the correct direction, and we did find the place. We were the last couple to come in. By the time we were ushered to the conference room, the introductions were already going on.

The message of the Marriage Encounter weekend did not penetrate my hardened heart. I was silently criticising everything that was going on- from the lengthy sessions to the seeming over-sentimentality of the presentors to the endless letter writing and dialogues between couples. I saw however that Lee was getting into it, particularly in the part having to do with dialogues. I was always uncomfortable with self-disclosure.

I was quite relieved when Sunday came and with it, the end of the Marriage Encounter. Before we were allowed to go, the three couples who sponsored the Marriage Encounter (who thus founded the community) seneraded us with songs and dances. As I watched them, I noticed the joy and peace on their glowing faces. I initially dismissed it as the "face" they donned for their performance. But even after they ended their performance, I saw that their joy and equanimity remained with them.

I then realized that they had something that I did not have, that I've always longed to have. Whatever it is, I told myself that I want it.

"It" turned out to be their relationship with Jesus Christ. They had "it" in their little community. They had Christ in their community. They had what I had long yearned for in their community.

"See, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? In the desert I make a way..." Isa 43:19