Our First Corporate Worship

When the founding couples (or Tricord, as they were subsequently called) entrusted to the three coordinators the responsibility of bringing our ME1 classmates to our initial class reunions and worship, we had wondered why they thought this was feasible. We did not know any of our classmates prior to the ME weekend. I (Richard) hardly spoke with them during the weekend. I could not even associate names with faces. In fact, some of them avoided speaking to us or returning our phone calls.

But come they did. Why?

There was a time we associated BLD’s success to its leaders and its system. At that point, we had not yet encountered God’s word in 1 Cor 3:7, “Therefore, neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who causes the growth.” In the light of this Scripture verse, we began to see that it was God and not man who built and grew the community from the very outset.

One of the first teachings the coordinators received was to pray for our individual classmates during our weekly meetings and in our personal prayers. We lifted their names, their persons to God- an acknowledgment that unless the Lord built the house, we labor in vain who build (Ps 127:1). It was the Lord who drew our classmates to our reunions. In our class reunions, we recalled our individual and shared experiences of God during the ME weekend. It was their experience with God, having tasted that the Lord is good, that brought them to our worship. In the community’s worship, they received grace upon abundant grace from the Father who delighted that His children lovingly yearned for Him. It was God who joined them to this community.

As we look back to our past 15 years of life in this community, it seems to us that the two movements of community- to communion and to mission – begin and end with worship. Worship binds us together as one people with God; we are in communion with each other because of our worship. Worship is also the place of our empowerment: it prepares and sustains us to pursue and fulfill our community mission. As a worshiping community, the foundation of our communion and mission is the Lord Jesus Himself.

We vividly recall our very first corporate worship at the St. Therese school library in Kenilworth. We felt an indescribable excitement as we gathered together for worship. Like the Friday nights after the ME, we looked forward to our appointment with God, our time to be united to Him and refreshed by Him in worship. Unlike the other Friday nights, we expected the rest of our ME1 classmates to join us for the first time. As some of them began coming in, our excitement was replaced by joyful thanksgiving. While not all came, we knew that it is only a matter of time before the others did. We exuberantly greeted and embraced our brethren. We felt a kinship of hearts as we began to worship our Father. It was sheer grace that in that little library, God whom the whole universe could not contain became present to us individually and collectively. In that little room, we became a family- God's family, God's community.

For 15 years, our community has faithfully worshiped God on Friday nights, save for Good Fridays, Christmas and New Year's days that fall on or next to Friday, and in rare cases when severe weather makes driving to our worship venue dangerous for our members. We can be sure that through these years , the Lord kept the appointment as well. We know this to be true, for two reasons. First, the Lord has made our Friday worship a helpful servant to the Sunday Eucharist. The Sacrament has become alive to us whose hearts were tilled by the Word of God during our corporate worship. Second, the Lord has made the community fruitful in many ways, despite its imperfections.

A month ago, one of the new members of the community asked us how our community grew from the original three founding couples to its current several hundred families, not counting the near dozen communities it spawned on both coasts of this continent. Having been eyewitnesses to His works of wonder, how can we not know the answer? We simply replied: GOD!

Introduction to Word, Worship & Christian Fellowship

We were selected as one of three coordinators of an ME 1 class consisting of 19 couples and one nun. We had accepted the founding couples’ offer to help coordinate the sponsorship of the next ME class. We did not understand at that time that our commitment really meant agreement to become part of their small community and to help build the community with the ME 1 class as firstfruit.

The week following the marriage encounter weekend, we were invited to the home of one of the founding couples where we were introduced to worship, Word sharing and Christian fellowship. The prayers were an intimate and loving conversation with Jesus. The praise songs were a soulful serenade of God. The scripture readings were read as if savoring an exquisite dish: slowly, deliberately, repeatedly, with heightened senses to detect and to imprint in our minds it’s most delicate flavors and aroma. Our encounter with the Word provoked the sharing of deeply personal thoughts, feelings, sentiments and experiences, of anguished pleas for God’s help or of joyful thanksgiving for His loving intervention. The fellowship was genuinely friendly- we found ourselves amidst a family who loved and cared for each other. I saw God in this small circle

Although I have been a Catholic all my life and attended a Catholic school for the first 11 years of my education, this faith experience was refreshing and exhilarating for me. Outside of rote prayer and my frantic appeals for help when I was in need, I did not have a prayer life. My Catholicism consisted of grudging Mass attendance on Sundays to which I would be often late and positioned for quick exit. I never read the bible. Nor did I reflect on His presence and actions in my life. Consequently, I did not know God and did not develop a relationship with Him.

I also had very few close friends. I was introverted when I was growing up. I preferred to read my books rather than to play with my siblings, cousins and neighbors. I was never comfortable sharing myself, much less my vulnerabilities to anyone. I did not believe anyone can be trusted with any information I considered personal and sensitive. My father’s side of the family was quite dysfunctional and hence detached from one another. This dysfunction influenced my relationship with my mother’s side of the family, my siblings, and my own family. Community was an alien concept to me.

After Lee and I attended the marriage encounter, we were thrust into a brand new world – a small and intimate community that the Lord had planted and wanted to grow in New Jersey. We were not seeking one, but God gave us one. We who were weak in faith were warmly welcomed to this circle of vibrant faith. An undeserved gift! Our first taste of this community was good, and we embraced it wholeheartedly. After our first meeting, we bought a bible and began to devour it. We began praying every day. We bought praise tapes and listened to them all day long, at home or on the road. We enthusiastically attended our weekly gatherings, where the Lord continued to bond and form us together as a community.

“Welcome anyone who is weak in faith…” Rom 14:1

How it began - God made a way

My sister-in-law, who lived in HK at that time, asked one of the founding couples of the community to invite us to their first Marriage Encounter weekend in NJ. My wife Lee and I were not interested. We had a convenient excuse to decline the invitation- our youngest son who was 4 years old at that time. We did not think we should leave him alone with his siblings for a weekend.

But our "recruiters" were persistent. My sister-in-law kept on calling to encourage us to come. Her husband's brother-in-law who was visiting from Manila likewise made a pitch. Lee was unconvinced. I began opening myself to the idea.

On August 21, 1992, I drove back from my secondary office in West Long Branch to pick up Lee at home and head to the Marriage Encounter venue. I was late by at least an hour. Worse, we could not locate the invitation, and could remember only that the retreat house was in Maplewood. We went anyway, not knowing exactly where to go. Of course, we ended up driving around in circles. And arguing. We said we will give it one last try, and if unsuccessful, we will head for home.

Usually, I loathe to ask people for directions, but this time, I stopped at several gas stations to ask for direction to the retreat house. Eventually, someone gave us the correct direction, and we did find the place. We were the last couple to come in. By the time we were ushered to the conference room, the introductions were already going on.

The message of the Marriage Encounter weekend did not penetrate my hardened heart. I was silently criticising everything that was going on- from the lengthy sessions to the seeming over-sentimentality of the presentors to the endless letter writing and dialogues between couples. I saw however that Lee was getting into it, particularly in the part having to do with dialogues. I was always uncomfortable with self-disclosure.

I was quite relieved when Sunday came and with it, the end of the Marriage Encounter. Before we were allowed to go, the three couples who sponsored the Marriage Encounter (who thus founded the community) seneraded us with songs and dances. As I watched them, I noticed the joy and peace on their glowing faces. I initially dismissed it as the "face" they donned for their performance. But even after they ended their performance, I saw that their joy and equanimity remained with them.

I then realized that they had something that I did not have, that I've always longed to have. Whatever it is, I told myself that I want it.

"It" turned out to be their relationship with Jesus Christ. They had "it" in their little community. They had Christ in their community. They had what I had long yearned for in their community.

"See, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? In the desert I make a way..." Isa 43:19