Cardiac Cath - Pentecost Eve Reflection

After my stress echo test yesterday, my cardiologist explained to me that he needed to investigate further a seeming abnormality in the contraction of my heart. With my agreement, he promptly scheduled me for a cardiac catheterization on Wednesday morning. Although the doctor explained what the procedure entailed and why I need to go through it, I researched the subject further today via internet. I now understand it better. But as I think about this external probe that will be navigated through one of my arteries in order for the medical team to look at my heart in intimate proximity, I can’t help but feel uncomfortable and apprehensive. Perhaps it is the idea of my body being invaded and my heart being exposed to scrutiny that is causing this feeling. But should I feel this way, knowing that this medical intervention is necessary for my physical well-being?

I liken this “probe” to You, O Holy Spirit, whom the Father sent in Jesus’ Name (Jn 14:26) to convict us in regard to sin and to guide us to all truth (Jn 16:8, 13) “For the Spirit scrutinizes everything…” 1 Cor 2:10). The psalmist understood this when he declared: “Lord, You have probed me, You know me: You know when I sit and stand; You understand my thoughts from afar….” (Ps 139:1-2). The plaque which may have formed into an arterial block can be likened to sin and its structures that prevent Your grace, the lifeblood of eternal life, from flowing freely into my spiritual heart. Nothing is hidden from You, O Holy Spirit. You light of truth will reveal the hidden or secret structures of death in me. “Your light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” John 1:5.

If indeed a block is discovered in an artery, the medical team will inflate a balloon to compress the plaque against the artery wall, thus improving blood flow. Then they will insert a stent in that area to prop the artery open, preventing the tissues from returning to its original position.

Spirit of Truth, You reveal what I hide in darkness, and I am brought to recognition and repentance of my sins. Lord, it has been many years since You mercifully rescued me, yet my sins are still many and shameful! I beg Your forgiveness, my Jesus. I forgive others their offenses, and seek their forgiveness for my offenses and omissions as well. I recognize my own helplessness, and I throw myself in total surrender to Your mercy, Lord Jesus.

Your forgiveness is the "balloon" that destroys sin and inflates the life of Your Spirit in my heart. The medical team’s healing work- as good as it is for You guide them- can not compare with Yours, O Lord. Unlike their work, Your forgiveness leaves no trace of the plaque of sin in my heart. O Divine Healer, Your work is thorough and complete, for You “cleanse us from every wrongdoing” (1 Jn 1:9), so that “we may become white as snow… white as wool” (Is 1:18). Your spiritual gifts and disciplines are the “stent” that will prevent me from falling back to my old ways.

I will not fear or be anxious. I entrust my heart and my life to You, my God. May Your will be done in me this Pentecost eve, every day of my life, and for always.

“Probe me, God, know my heart; try me, know my concern. See if my way is crooked, then lead me in the ancient paths.” Ps 139:23-24